情感专家:婚姻走到尽头的四个征兆 4 signs your marriage is heading towards divorce, according to a relationship therapist

比尔·盖茨夫妇的离婚案震惊了全球,因为两人在长达27年的婚姻里,从来没有曝出过任何桃色新闻,谁也料不到竟然是这个结局。情感专家表示,一段婚姻在走到尽头之前,是有蛛丝马迹可循的。

 

Bill Gates and Melinda Gates listen as former US President Barack Obama (not pictured) speaks at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Goalkeepers event in Manhattan, New York, US, September 20, 2017. REUTERS/Elizabeth Shafiroff

 

Bill and Melinda Gates announced they are filing for divorce, ending their 27-year marriage via Twitter on May 3. Melinda Gates said the marriage was ‘irretrievably broken’ in their divorce filings.

5月3日,比尔·盖茨和梅琳达宣布离婚,结束27年的婚姻关系。梅琳达在离婚申请书中表示,这段婚姻“已经无可挽回地破裂”。

 

Imani Wilform, a relationship therapist, said divorce is the last option for many people, but if the relationship feels irreparable after numerous attempts to fix it, it might be time to call it quits.

婚姻咨询师伊马尼·威尔佛姆表示,对于许多人来说,离婚都是最后的选择,但如果一段婚姻在努力修复多次后依然无法挽回,那么可能是放弃的时候了。

 

‘After attempting everything possible to get back to a healthy and loving space, if there is a lack of intimacy and a complete lack of vulnerability from both sides, the door sadly begins to close,’ Wilform said.

威尔佛姆说:“在你们为了重回健康有爱的生活尝试了一切可能的方式之后,如果双方还是无法亲密相处,或者谁也不肯示弱,那么婚姻之门就开始不幸地关闭了。”

 

下面这四个征兆可能预示婚姻已经走到尽头。

 

You aren’t intimate with them anymore

你们再也无法亲密相处

 

It’s completely normal for a couple’s sex life to wax and wane over the span of their marriage. However, if it dies completely, Wilform said this could be a sign the relationship is on the decline.

一对夫妇的性生活在婚姻期间起起伏伏是完全正常的。但是威尔佛姆说,如果一对夫妇完全没有性生活,那么这可能预示着婚姻正在走下坡路。

 

If there is no more intimacy between you and your spouse, it could point to underlying problems such as a lack of interest in your partner, a lack of trust, or disdain.

如果你和配偶之间不再有亲密行为,这可能预示着你们之间有潜在的问题,比如你对伴侣缺乏兴趣或信任,或看不上对方。

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You’ve lost trust in your partner and can’t rebuild it

你已经失去了对伴侣的信任,而且无法重建信任

 

Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship, so if you find yourself doubting your partner and suspecting them of lying, this should be cause for concern.

信任是一段稳固关系的基础,所以如果你发现自己对伴侣有疑虑,怀疑他们撒谎,则应该引起注意。

 

Wilform said if you find yourself unable to trust your partner even after trying to re-build the connection, signs could be pointing towards a divorce – especially if you’ve caught your partner cheating or lying in another way, according to Wilform.

威尔佛姆表示,如果在试图重建信任后,你发现自己依然无法信任你的伴侣,这意味着你们可能会离婚,尤其是在你当场抓到伴侣偷吃或撒谎的情况下。

 

‘[You should be worried] if you find yourself losing trust in what the other person says, such as who they’re talking to or who they might be going to see,’ Wilform said. ‘Especially if you have caught them being dishonest.’

威尔佛姆说:“如果你发现自己不再信任对方说的话,比如他们和谁说话,或他们要见什么人,你应该感到担忧,尤其是在你曾经发现对方不忠的情况下。”

 

Microsoft technology advisor Bill Gates and his wife Melinda leave on the second day of the Allen and Co. media conference in Sun Valley, Idaho July 10, 2014. Media and technology CEOs and investors get together every year at the Allen & Co conference in Sun Valley for a week of mingling and deal-making at the upscale Idaho mountain resort. REUTERS/Rick Wilking

 

You’ve stopped arguing and trying to work through problems

你们已经放弃吵架,也不再努力解决矛盾

 

While excessive fighting could be a major sign it’s time for divorce, no fighting at all could also be cause for concern, according to Wilform.

威尔佛姆指出,尽管频繁吵架是离婚的一大先兆,但是完全不吵架也令人担忧。

 

Wilform said once you and your partner stop trying to work through your issues together and instead become apathetic, it indicates a lack of investment in the relationship.

威尔佛姆表示,一旦你和伴侣不再试图一起解决你们之间的问题,而是变得无动于衷,这说明你们对这段婚姻投入得太少。

 

‘A complete lack of communication or disinterest in working out conflict [is a bad sign],’ Wilform said.

威尔佛姆说:“完全缺乏交流或懒得解决矛盾是个坏兆头。”

 

You don’t consider your partner within your list of priorities

你不再事事以伴侣为先

 

Life as a married adult can come with a plethora of responsibilities, from kids to bills to work. If your spouse isn’t on your list of priorities, the marriage isn’t either, Wilform says.

威尔佛姆说,成年人的婚姻生活充斥着太多责任,从孩子到花费到工作。如果你的伴侣不在你的优先考虑范围内,那么婚姻也不再是你优先考虑的。

plethora [ˈpleθərə]: n. 过多;过剩

 

She said, if ‘you find yourself always thinking about ‘I’ and not about ‘we,” this is a good indication your spouse doesn’t hold a place of importance in your everyday life.

她说,如果“你发现自己总是想着‘我’而不是‘我们’”,这就很好地说明配偶在你的日常生活中不再占据重要地位。

 

英文来源:内幕网

翻译&编辑:丹妮

责编:海闻